we, hopeless romantics, must constantly remind ourselves that we can’t choose who we get in life, but we can choose what we get……… so….. follow your dreams, not your genitals.

Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers

ya know what sucks? when you feel this way about someone and they just fuck it all up by not feeling the same way… just sayin’.

i want my mommy

omfg don’t let me get on movie clips… i will sit there for hours on end. the julia roberts tag has me in too deep.

i miss dedicating more time to my tumblr… :(

i just feel like its not as cool as it used to be :(

i need to go home, but i don’t feeeeel like it :(

of course the post of ryan gosling going down on michelle williams in blue valentine gets so many notes out of all the things i post…. you fucking pervy tumblr peeps

exciting!

because i have to work until 2 AM right now and i’m tired as helllll

• getting excited to go home to kansas tomorrow night to see my family and friends and to be busy and to do my interview for my new job!
• i’ll miss being around little kids! even though i swear it makes my estrogen levels go crazy haha. these kids are too cute. if a mostly attractive guy were to approach me at this moment and say “let’s make babies” i’d probs be all too willing haha kiddingg but seriously i can’t wait to have kids when i’m older.
• wish my dad wasn’t so moody this trip. i feel bad and i want to cheer him up, but it seems like he’s going through a rough patch in his marrriage and there’s not much i can do to help.
• so proud that i ran 9.2 miles this morning!!! i just want to eat and eat and eat.
• i’ve had a lot of free time here and i feel like i should be working on my acting/practicing. i feel guilty that i’m not, but at the same time, i really feel like i needed to relax after all of the tension that’s been going on between me and my family and trying to figure out my life and the kinda sorta break up. i WILL practice on monday.
• the guy i was dating said we would talk when i get back and i’m kind of looking forward to it because there’s part of me that would like to make things work, but there’s also part of me that knows i’m settling for less than i could really get. i’m thinking he might not contact me to talk when i get back because he probs doesn’t care that much and the only reason he said we would talk is because we ran into each other at fatso’s on tuesday night and was sending a bunch of fucking annoying mixed messages (i.e. trying to do things we did when we were together and then talking about how he didn’t text me back that day bc he thinks we need more time before we can be friends???). so he texted me when he left and said sorry if he upset me and that we would talk when i got back. hopefully, he was just saying that to be nice. we’ll see.
• really annoyed that this is even on my mind. i have so much more important things to be worrying about. i.e. making money/saving money/getting better at my acting craft/living a happy life

#1 yesterday was the best day and night ever

• recovered from the amazing 3 AM night before where i got to catch up with my best guy friend in the world
• completed this ridiculously long, awful door painting project i’ve been working on for two weeks
• went shopping with my bro. got a new pair of shorts, a tank, earrings, and a fedora from urban
• drank fat tires and free state beer and took tequila shots at my house with all of my amazing friends and hung on the stoop with my fam and doggy

#2 on facebook, there was always this weird real estate agent looking chick on my news feed and i’ve been thinking WHO IS DIS BITCH for like a month now but i was too lazy to click through and figure out. just now i actually clicked on her profile and it’s my aunt haha.

#3 going to see my brother perform some hip hop in 30 mins. boy’s got talent!

#4 i was super hungover and depressed today and i have no idea what i’m doing with my life and i broke it off with my cutty buddy finally furreal (because he’s just not that into me and we’re never going to be what each other need and want in a significant other), which i couldn’t be more happy and bummed about at the same time.

#5 i decided i’m not moving to cali, but I AM going to get my vw refurbished and take trips out there all the time. apartment hunting! so excited to have my own space again. might be roomies with my bff jess! that would be toooo great.

#6 i’m sitting in bed in the hottest room in my house with my pup and she’s panting like fucking crazy and shaking the bed and it’s cracking me up. poor baby.