The Drums - Money

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TRACKThe Drums - Money

Mikko Kuorinki, Wall Piece with 200 Letters, 2010-11.

something about this is amazing

work harder.

keep direction.

nothing can take your focus.

insecurities only distract from the ultimate outcome.

practice.

become the person you want to be.

never settle.

stay inspired.

create, create, create.

exercise the mind and body.

get out of your comfort zone.

enjoy every day knowing you are on the greatestjourney.

don’t allow the mind to vacate.

create your own path to success.

time is ticking.

your time is coming.

be prepared.

educate yourself.

learn from others.

listen passionately.

consume people’s presence.

ask questions, always.

~   Sylvia Plath

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

~   Rosemarie Urquico

tesslynch:

Bob was having a nightmare. In it, he was wearing a prom dress, even though he was thirty-two years old. The prom dress was covered with sequins and stank like pee. Bob, in his nightmare, felt ashamed of himself, so he opened the closet door to hide inside. Thousands of dead batteries tumbled out, covering Bob and leaking acid all over his prom dress. Bob cried out for help, but nobody was around; he reached for the phone, which had materialized just out of arm’s reach, but he was immobilized under the mountain of Duracells. The phone started to ring, and then the answering machine picked up. It was Rachel from Cardholder Services. Bob died of suffocation, and then woke up. His answering machine was in the process of receiving a message from Rachel, just where his nightmare had left off. He picked up the phone and pressed one for more information.

An operator offered to assist him. “Bob,” she said, “I’m calling from Cardholder Services because, while nothing is wrong with your account, we can assist you in reducing your debt of fifty-five thousand dollars and nine cents.”

“I don’t have any debt,” lied Bob.

“Bob,” said the operator, “you may not have any debt, but do you have any batteries?”

Bob pinched his thigh to make sure he was awake.

“Bob,” said the operator, “prom is in an hour, and you can’t go wearing that dress. It smells and pulls at the waist.”

“Is this Rachel?” asked Bob. “Are you inside my head? How did you get inside my head?”

“That’s where I live, Bob,” said Rachel. “And you can lie all you want, but I know about your debt, and I know about your dreams. I know about everything.”

“No,” insisted Bob. “That’s impossible. Put me on the line with your superior. Get the manager on the line right away.”

“I am the superior,” said Rachel. “I am the manager. It’s always me. It’s always been me.”

Bob brought the phone into the kitchen, where he kept his bullhorn. He pointed the bullhorn at the phone and screamed into it. He put the bullhorn down and placed the phone back on his ear. “How did you like that, Rachel?” asked Bob.

“I didn’t like it very much,” said Rachel, “it hurt my ears. So I poisoned all of your bottled water.”

Bob looked at the unopened case of bottled water on the floor near the refrigerator. It had cost him $11 and had enough bottles of water to get him through next Tuesday. Surely everything was fine. There was no way to poison water over the phone, especially since the seal on the caps was unbroken. The water was fine. Of course, the water would be fine.

“Go ahead,” said Bob. “I’m done talking to you. Don’t call here again. I’m on the Do Not Call registry.”

“I’m on the Do Not Bullhorn registry,” responded Rachel. “All bets are off, Bob. Won’t you let me manage your debt?”

Bob began to think quickly and outside of the box. “Officer,” said Bob in a quiet and even tone, “this is the number. Trace the call. Thank you officer. Thanks, officer Mike with the Los Angeles Police Department. Trace it, and then arrest this person, as you said you would. Yes, very good. Thank you, officer.

“Bob,” said Rachel, “you really shouldn’t have done that. You know I hate when people try that stupid trick on me. You made it impossible for me not to place a bomb in the undercarriage of your Volvo S70. I didn’t want to make your car explode as soon as you turned the ignition key, but you really gave me no choice.”

“Ha!” laughed Bob. “It’s an S40! You had me confused with Ricky Daneshgar from down the road!”

“Thanks for the correction,” said Rachel, “but because you laughed at me, I’ve just placed bombs in the undercarriage of all the Volvos on your road.

Bob listened to a series of loud explosions go off up and down his street.

“Well, I was planning to bike to work today anyway, Rachel,” replied Bob. “And as you probably know, I haven’t yet bought the bike I’ll ride, so good luck tampering with all of the bicycles for sale in Los Angeles.”

“Oh really, Bob?” asked Rachel. “Well, good thing I had all of the money in your bank account wired to Time Warner Cable. I hope you have good credit to buy that bicycle. Oh, wait, you don’t have good credit, because you’re fifty-five thousand dollars and nine cents in debt.”

“Good thing I’m sick today anyway and wasn’t planning on going in to work!”

“Yes, I know, you’re very sick. I’ve just given you diphtheria.”

“I have no symptoms!”

“It’s asymptomatic for the first five days. Then your skin takes on a bluish hue, you get chills, and you die.”

“There is a 90% recovery rate,” corrected Bob.

“Not the kind I gave you,” corrected Rachel. “You’ll open the hall closet to get some batteries, and then your diphtheria will worsen, and you will suffocate. Unless…”

“Unless? Unless I manage my debt with Cardholder Services?” Bob stared out the kitchen window and saw his neighbor, little Sally, making her way with her mother to their Volvo S60. “Don’t get in the car!” Bob yelled at the window. “Little Sally — don’t get in!”

“They can’t hear you,” said Rachel. “That window is stuck closed, isn’t it?”

It was.

“Now, real quick, do you want us to assist in managing your debt, Bob? Or do you want the deaths of all of your neighbors hanging over your head in your last few days of life before the sickness makes you hallucinate?” Rachel gave him a minute to think. Little Sally’s mother opened the door to the Volvo.

“I’ll take the diphtheria,” said Bob, and hung up the line. He heard the Volvo S60 explode as he hefted his case of bottled water into the dumpster.

01.25.12 /16:11/ 832
~   Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

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